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[STORS] Slukhål

User avatar
Will709432

[STORS] Slukhål

Post by Will709432 »

Jag inser att detta inte är ett särskilt aktivt forum, minst sagt! Förhoppningsvis är dessa användbara för andra. Och förhoppningsvis kommer misstag att rättas till. Jag gjorde detta för att lägga till lite repetitioner, eftersom jag tycker att det är ett bra sätt att lära sig. Snälla, påpeka mina misstag.
I realize this is not an especially active forum, to say the least! Hopefully these are useful to others. And hopefully mistakes will be corrected. I did this to add some repetition, because I think it's a good way to learn. Please point out my mistakes.
Dessa “vinjetter” är inte menade att betyda något särskilt. Ingen kom till skada. :)

Slukhål

Först jag visste inte varför jag grävde min egen grav. Var det för att komma bort från min familj?

Varje dag bråkade jag med frun, Marsipan (det var hennes föräldrar som döpte henne!). Hon hade blivit lat och otrevlig. Hon hjälpte inte längre till med städning och disk. Ja, jag är Den Moderna Mannen. Jag diskar och städar.
Men varje gång jag kom hem från jobbet, var huset stökigt. Sopor var överallt. Hon vägrade till och med att gå till jobbet. Hela dagen, satt hon i soffan med fötterna uppe på soffbordet. Hon tuggade munkar och blev full medan hon tittade på såpoperor.

Varje dag bråkade jag med tvillingdöttrarna Vodka och Tonic (det var min fru som döpte dem!). Båda två hade blivit oförskämda och respektlösa mot mig. Deras hud täcktes med fula tatueringar och de hade för många piercingar. De vägrade gå till skolan. Hela dagen klampade de på sovrumsgolvet som ett par elefanter och sjöng som skrikande katter. Deras musik skakade hela huset som om det var jordbävning. Jag aldrig fått något lugn eller ro.

Varje dag bråkade jag med sonen, Rambo (du kan gissa, det var min fru som gav honom namnet!). Han vägrade skaffa ett jobb. Han sov hela morgonen till kvällen. Sedan han reste sig och gick ut för att begå brott. Vi fick besök av polisen nästan varje kväll. En gång till och så Rambo skulle sitta i fängelse.

Ständigt bråk och slagsmål. Plötsligt, stod jag inte ut längre.

Jag tog spaden och gick ut ur huset till bakgården.

Och jag började gräva.

Det råkar vara så att det ligger ett slukhål under trädgården. Precis där jag grävde, öppnades marken och jag föll i.

Skrek jag? Nej, det gjorde jag inte. Jag var glad att komma därifrån. Jag ropade ”farväl för evigt, min hemska familj!” när jag föll hela vägen ner. Som Alice i underlandet.

Sedan allt blev svart.

Det dröjde länge innan jag vaknade.

Jag var fortfarande lite yr. Jag tittade upp. Ovanför mig såg jag dagsljuset. Det tog lång tid för mig att klättra upp ur hålet.

I kvällsskymningen, vacklade jag över trädgården till bakdörren. Jag kände mig lätt om huvudet. Så fort jag gick in i huset, visste jag att något var fel.

Huset var snyggt och prydligt. Det var så tyst att man kunde höra klockan i korridoren ticka. Det doftade nybakat bröd i huset snarare än sopor.

Det stod i köket en vacker kvinna och dukade.

Fel hus, tänkte jag, och kände mig förvirrad. Jag skulle precis be om ursäkt när kvinnan kom fram till mig och gav mig en varm kyss.

Hennes hud doftade av blommor och citron. ”Sätt dig ner, make”, sa hon. ”Vi ska äta”.

Jag tog plats vid bordet. Jag var fortfarande i chock när tvillingarna kom fram. De såg söta ut i sina matchande gula söndagsklänningar. Tatueringarna och piercingarna var borta och de hade hästsvans. De log och sa "hej pappa” samtidigt. Sedan de kysste mig på var och en kind.

Jag måste ha dött, sa jag till mig själv.

Medan vi åt middag, log jag nervöst. Jag kände hur lycka gick genom kroppen.

Men jag märkte att det saknades någon. Jag tittade runt i rummet.

"Var är Rambo?” Jag kände mig fortfarande dum när jag sa hans namn.

Det gick över min frus ansikte en skugga. Jag följde hennes blick mot fönstret. En unge polis kom gående uppför stigen.

Jag stönade förtvivlat. Visste att det var för bra för att vara sant, tänkte jag

Nu börjas det igen! Jag borde ha vetat att han skulle förstöra detta.

Men först när den unge polisen kom in och hälsade på oss, insåg jag mitt misstag.

"Hej mamma, pappa, syrror", sa han och log. ”Vad blir det för mat?"


This time I wrote this from Swedish first and translated it back into English, just for a change.

Sinkhole
At first I didn't know why I was digging my own grave. Was it to get away from my family?
Every day I argued with my wife, Marzipan (her parents named her!). She had become lazy and unpleasant. She no longer helped with the cleaning and doing the dishes. Yes, I am “The Modern Man”. I wash and clean. But every time I came home from work, the house was a mess. Garbage was everywhere. She even refused to go to work. All day, she sat on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table, chewing donuts and getting drunk while watching soap operas.

Every day I argued with my twin daughters Vodka and Tonic (my wife named them!). Both of them had become rude and disrespectful to me. Their skin was covered in ugly tattoos and they had too many piercings. They refused to go to school. All day long they stomped on the bedroom floor like a couple of elephants and sang like screaming cats. Their music shook the whole house like an earthquake. I never got any peace or quiet.
Every day I argued with my son, Rambo (you can guess, it was my wife who named him!). He refused to get a job. He slept all morning until evening. Then he got up and went out to commit crimes. We were visited by the police almost every night. One more time and Rambo would be in prison.
Constant arguments and fights. Suddenly, I couldn't stand it anymore.
I took the shovel and went out of the house to the backyard.
And I started digging.
It just so happens that there is a sinkhole under the garden. Right where I was digging, the ground opened up and I fell in.
Did I cry out? No, I did not. I was glad to get out of there. I shouted "farewell forever, my horrible family!" as I fell all the way down. Like Alice in Wonderland.
Then everything went black.

It was a long time before I woke up.
I was still a little dizzy. I looked up. Above me I saw daylight. It took me a long time to climb out of the hole.
In the evening twilight, I staggered across the garden to the back door. I felt lightheaded. As soon as I walked into the house, I knew something was wrong.
The house was neat and tidy. It was so quiet you could hear the clock in the hallway ticking. The house smelled of freshly baked bread rather than garbage.
A beautiful woman was standing in the kitchen, setting the table.
Wrong house, I thought, feeling confused. I was about to apologize when the woman came up to me and gave me a warm kiss.
Her skin smelled of flowers and lemon. "Sit down, husband," she said. "We’re about to eat".
I took a seat at the table. I was still in shock when the twins arrived. They looked cute in their matching yellow Sunday dresses. The tattoos and piercings were gone and they had ponytails. They smiled and said "hi dad" at the same time. Then they kissed me on each cheek.

I must have died, I told myself.
While we ate dinner, I smiled nervously. I felt happiness pass through my body.
But I noticed that there was someone missing. I looked around the room.
"Where's Rambo?" I still felt stupid saying his name.
A shadow passed over my wife's face. I followed her gaze towards the window. A young policeman came walking up the path.
I moaned in despair. Knew it was too good to be true, I thought
Here we go again! I should have known he would mess this up.
But only when the young policeman came in to greet us, I realised my mistake.
"Hey mum, dad, sisters," he said, smiling. "What's for dinner?"


*I'm aware that "I felt happiness pass through my body" is a crappy translation for its Swedish counterpart, but anyway...
*

User avatar
Basler Biker
Switzerland

Re: [STORS] Slukhål

Post by Basler Biker »

Hi @Will709432 - your Swedish is quite good, right? is the following a good summary of the story?

The story "Slukhål" is about a man who is frustrated with his family's behavior and constant fighting at home. He has a lazy and unhelpful wife named Marsipan, twin daughters named Vodka and Tonic who are disrespectful and rebellious, and a son named Rambo who refuses to work and engages in criminal activities.

One day, overwhelmed by the constant arguments, the man decides to dig his own grave to escape from his terrible family. While digging, he accidentally falls into a sinkhole in the backyard and loses consciousness. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a different reality where everything has changed.

In this new reality, his house is neat and quiet, and there is a beautiful woman who identifies herself as his wife. The twins are well-behaved and polite, and his troublesome son Rambo is a good and respectful police officer. The man is initially confused and thinks he might be dead and in heaven.

As they sit down for dinner, the man realizes that this alternate reality is too good to be true, and he questions the absence of Rambo. Shortly after, a young police officer arrives at the door, addressing the woman as his mother and the man as his father. The man realizes that he has misunderstood the situation and mistakenly thought that this new version of Rambo was a changed version of his troubled son.

The story concludes with the man's realization that he has been given a second chance with his family, which appears to be much happier and better behaved in this alternate reality.


BB - Basler Biker - Positivity and constructiveness will prevail
Native :belgium: :netherlands: / fluent :fr: :de: :uk: / learning :sweden: / fan of :switzerland: (bs/bl)

User avatar
Will709432

Re: [STORS] Slukhål

Post by Will709432 »

Thanks for the comments. I think I can probably improve the text a bit since I was last on here, so I hope to have time to go over most of the stuff I wrote (some of which looks pretty crusty grammatically to me now) and correct my mistakes.

User avatar
Basler Biker
Switzerland

Re: [STORS] Slukhål

Post by Basler Biker »

You know, Will, that "resume" was generated by an AI tool ;-) (read: not me!)

Back in oct 2022 ... Jag inser att detta inte är ett särskilt aktivt forum, minst sagt!

Indeed: there was ZERO activity, but you formulated that very kindly.

Recently, I have done some private "marketing" and invited some of my zoom contacts to register here,
and asked them to put their questions here rather than contacting me over zoom.

So hopefully, boosted by your and my new energy, and with some more active Swedish learning members coming soon, we get over that "vicious circle" treshold and set interaction going.

BB


BB - Basler Biker - Positivity and constructiveness will prevail
Native :belgium: :netherlands: / fluent :fr: :de: :uk: / learning :sweden: / fan of :switzerland: (bs/bl)

User avatar
Basler Biker
Switzerland

Re: [STORS] Slukhål

Post by Basler Biker »

Will709432 wrote: Sat Oct 21, 2023 8:05 am

Thanks for the comments. I think I can probably improve the text a bit since I was last on here, so I hope to have time to go over most of the stuff I wrote (some of which looks pretty crusty grammatically to me now) and correct my mistakes.

if I may remind, when you want to review your own text, and be able to compare before/after, just make a reply to your original post, and use our duome "DIFF" tags to apply corrections. All the same for other people wanting to review your new texts.

The use of the duome auto-markup tool is explained here :
viewtopic.php?p=12757-guide-how-to-use- ... ool#p12757

BB


BB - Basler Biker - Positivity and constructiveness will prevail
Native :belgium: :netherlands: / fluent :fr: :de: :uk: / learning :sweden: / fan of :switzerland: (bs/bl)

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